So, I was all excited about my foray into present tense.  But, then my guy says that he hates present tense.  He feels like it makes any writing feel amateurish and awkward.  He was quick to note that it is simply his feeling on the subject, an objective subject, and I should write my story however I think it should be.

But now I’m worried.

I would love some feedback.  Below, I have two samples.  One is past tense, the other present.  Let me know which you think sounds better, please!

Present:

Soft, blue, flashing lights fill my vision. They are mild at first, lethargic and steady, and almost unnoticeable. Slowly, the glow intensifies. The flashes come faster and faster, until I realize that I’m awake. Once my conscious mind has made its presence known, the flashing stops.

I shiver. My internal body temperature hasn’t come back to its preferred ninety-eight point seven degrees yet. I feel like a sheet of ice is lodged in my core. My limbs feel numb and fuzzy. I try to lift my arm, but it’s heavy and doesn’t want to obey. Every ounce of my being wants to fall back into slumber.

Distantly, I hear voices speaking.

Past:

Soft, blue, flashing lights filled my vision. They were mild at first, lethargic and steady, and almost unnoticeable. Slowly, the glow intensified. The flashes came faster and faster, until I realized that I’m awake. Once my conscious mind had made its presence known, the flashing stopped.

I shivered. My internal body temperature hadn’t yet returned to its preferred ninety-eight point seven degrees. I felt like a sheet of ice was lodged in my core. My limbs felt numb and fuzzy. I tried to lift my arm, but it was heavy and doesn’t want to obey. Every ounce of my being wanted to fall back into slumber.

Distantly, I heard voices speaking.

Thanks 🙂